The Commuter

Wake up. Pee. Drive. Class. Eat. Go home.

Repeat.

This was the life I expected I would be living during my time here since everyone told me that UCI was a commuter school. I didn’t even know that meant until I googled it. The first definition I saw was, “a school where the majority of students commute to school for class and go straight back home.”

After reading that I thought, “Damn. That’s sad.” Yet here I was doing exactly that. Commuting and going straight home. One of my biggest fears was already coming true. It was week 1 and I was friendless. So far, college was not going the way I wanted it to. Not by a longshot.

I remember the summer before college I watched a ton of college movies to get hyped for my next four years, my favorite being Monsters University. Like Mike and Sully I was sooooo ready to find that group of people that I could experience all of those college adventures with. All the orgs I was looking into didn’t really keep me interested. I did end up joining Circle K since I was a Key Club president and all that in high school. It helped ease my fears but wasn’t really that thing I was looking for. I did meet some cool people but even then, I still went home after class even if it meant sitting in traffic for an hour.

Looking back, it was all my fault that I wasn’t having the best time. I was expecting things to just fall into place and be a-ok but that’s not how real life works. It works in the movies but so far it wasn’t really working for me. I had to go out and do something about it. A quote from one of my favorite movies, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, sums it up nicely:

“Well, [being a commuter’s] not the problem. I’m the problem. I gotta take a stand. I gotta take a stand against [this lifestyle]. I am not gonna sit on my butt as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life.”

I was doing just that. I was letting my first week of college go by without me doing anything about it! Week 1 was going to end in a few days— the week that, in my mind, was the most important since it was the introductory week for many orgs. I would be too embarrassed to join anything late so it was now or never.

Up until now I took baby steps by joining something I was familiar with, but nothing really changed. I needed to take a leap instead and do something completely different. I was doing the same things I already did in high school.

I was complacent.

I wanted to have a different experience in college than what I had in high school. If I want a different experience I need to do different things. So I took a chance and I applied to AMP. I believe it was a Friday, I’m really not sure when. BUT I do know it was the day that AMP mentee apps were due. Earlier in the year during the spring of my senior year I reached out to a UCI student from the Class of 2019 Page for a ton of advice regarding UCI. I was definitely a bother to her, but she helped me selflessly. And one of the things I remembered she mentioned I do was to join AMP, WHICH I DID NOT REMEMBER UNTIL NOW. So, I went to Ayala and filled out the application in the library as fast as I could and submitted it.

Flash forward to the day emails were sent out. It was a rollercoaster of emotions. I’m not sure how it was like for y’all but I was ready to throw my computer out my window and this is why,

“Due to the limited number of mentors and the high volume of applications, we are unfortunately unable to accept everyone into the program. However, we are happy to inform you that you have been accepted into the Antleader Mentorship Program as a mentee! Welcome to the AMP family!”

I couldn’t believe it. It read like my rejection to UCLA and I didn’t want to finish it after they told me how great of a student I was. But, I’m glad I sucked it up and read through it all. If I hadn’t, I might have passed on one of my best decisions here at UCI.

That phrase is something you might hear tossed around all the time, “______ was my best college decision ever.” It’s not something that people just throw around to get likes or for you to join their organization. They really mean it, and I definitely mean it. People at UCI are so passionate about what they do and they just want to share what they have and to offer the chance for others to find that “thing” they can call their own. After I was accepted as a mentor after my time as a mentee ended and began mentor training I knew I found my “thing”. I would not be able to say that if I didn’t take that chance in the beginning of the year.

Everything here at UCI has so much potential to form a college experience you can look back on with a sense of nostalgia. It’s up to you whether or not you want to find what will make your time here worthwhile.

In the Spring everyone that I knew that I told about my acceptance asked, “How’s AMP?”

Without hesitation my answer was always, “AMP is my life now.”

I meant it in all sense of the word. I was a mentee and now I’m a mentor. Most of my friends were people I met through AMP. I drove out to UCI on weekends just to hang out with them. Knowing me I’d rather be at home binging on Fresh Off The Boat but I couldn’t get enough of AMP. Being a mentee opened so many doors for me. There’s only so much you can learn from asking the Class of 2020 page Facebook page. And there’s so much more to the titles we all have. Mentors aren’t just mentors. Fellow mentees aren’t just your fellow mentees. Everyone here in AMP is your friend, your family. It’s only the beginning but in time you’ll see what I mean.

Like earlier, don’t just expect it to happen. In college it really does take effort to maintain relationships and build new ones. My best advice is to be open to all the experiences and relationships you’ll have this year. And, be proactive too. Who says you can’t be both? Ask people what their name is and if they wanna study for that bio midterm in two weeks. And if you’re not in the mood to study, see if anyone else is down to go for a hike at 2AM followed by a visit to BCD Tofu House at 3am. Even if you don’t ask, there’s a decent chance that someone will ask you! What I loved about AMP as a mentee, asides from the spontaneous hangouts, was it kinda forces you to be around people a lot so might as well be friends with all of these people right? It wasn’t until winter quarter did I actually put in effort into talking to other people in AMP instead of waiting for someone to do the same to me. When I took more initiative, I actually felt like I was a part of the AMP family I always heard about.

So for anyone still worried about whether AMP will be worth it, let me tell you this as someone who had this exact fear — These will potentially be the people you’ll spill your heart out to at 2AM when studying for the chem final that doesn’t seem worth it anymore. These will potentially be the people you eat with after class on Tuesdays (swipe me in), These will potentially be the people that will hug you when they see you and hug you when they say bye. These will potentially be the people you go out to eat KBBQ and go to Seaside on a regular basis with. These will potentially be the people who you’ll promise to workout with because you ate too much KBBQ and Seaside. These will potentially be the people you will change majors with after you fail your titration lab. These people could potentially become your family.

I just know these people are the reason why I’m not driving a lonely car anymore.

So, you might be thinking to yourself, “Damn Jeff, you sound so hyped!” Good. Because I’m hyped for you! You just might have stumbled upon what you were looking for here in AMP. Keyword being might. Because as sad as it is to say, AMP might not be your thing. But that’s okay too. What I described earlier was my mentee experience. Your experience might not be the same as mine. It might be vastly different. But that doesn’t mean it won’t be amazing either! What matters is that you’re trying your best to get something out of this program. I believe that if you can muster up that much, it’ll be worth it. I know you’ll find your place at UCI eventually and hopefully AMP will help you do that. I challenge you, mentees and mentors, to take the motivation you had when you applied to AMP and apply that to helping each other have the best experience you can in AMP.

About the author: Jeff is a 2nd year Public Health Policy Major and a first time AMP mentor and previous AMP mentee. He was previously a committee chair for UCI CKI’s Mr. CKI and Dance For a Chance fundraisers and currently interns for ASUCI’s Student Life and Advocacy Commission. When he’s not obsessing over the fact that he is a commuter and has hella fear of missing out (FOMO) Jeff likes to waste money on clothes he keeps sealed up in their dust bags and be a weeb.